Busier than I really thought

Well I'm in the home stretch to finish this semester.  I could cry from shear happiness of it all.   I still have a lot to do though.

I can't believe how fast the time has flown.  I love being busy, I love my life stressful,  I'm not entirely sure why.  You'd think I'd enjoy doing nothing all day but sitting and playing on the computer and I do my fair share of that, probably more than I should.

I enjoy though the rush of having to get out of the house to make this meeting or go to this place or do this.  I do not enjoy when people make me late.  The rush isn't the same.   I feel sick to my stomach when we're running late.  For someone who's life is busy and stressful I rely on the clock, it tells me when to go, when to get back, I schedule my life by the clock.  Sometimes I don't think people understand that.  If I'm running even 5 minutes late, that can throw off my entire day.

I think it's the reason I can't deal with timed tests that I have to take.   I get somewhere between 15 minutes to 60 minutes (Depends on the test length and what not) and if I look at that little red clock ticking down, I will freak out.  I can not handle watching my precious time slip away.   So I hurry through the test and usually end up with a not so good grade.   I'm working on that.  I'm trying to ignore the little red clock (I still wonder if green would be friendlier) and just do my work.  I have 15 minutes to do 12 questions.  That equals a little more than a minute for each question.  Most questions don't take a full minute.  Some I can just go through and some I have to think about.   My last test I got a 90 because I forced myself to not look at that stupid clock.  It took me less than 30 minutes to complete it and it was 60 minute test.  I didn't freak out, I kept calm and answered to the best of my ability. 

So you see the clock runs my life.  I'm not sure if it's good or bad.  I spend some days just forgoing the clock but if I know there are certain things I need to do before a certain time, you better bet that I'm going to be watching that clock until I get whatever I need done.

Life if crazy, my life seems crazier now than it ever has but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Liz